Thursday, June 4, 2015

The Waiting Game

Where are you???

Maybe I shouldn't be asking that. I know exactly where you are. You are curled up inside me, jabbing your arms and legs outward, as though you are trying to stretch and uncurl.

It is starting to get difficult to walk, and I am constantly sore. I am waiting.

Originally, your due date was May 15. After your ultrasound, they decided your due date was actually May 29. But the likelihood of you actually coming that late was low.

I kept hearing that I would meet you any day, that you would be born long before your due date. We talked about steroids for your lungs if you were coming too early, and we talked about best and worst case scenarios. The most unlikely situation has happened.

Today is June 4. Where are you???

They have scheduled me for inducement on June 6 or 7, so I guess I know I will meet you soon.

Sometimes I am excited to meet you, and sometimes I am scared. Will I be a good mom? Will I be able to do it?

I can't wait to find out.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

We're Having a Baby!

A lot has changed in the (almost) year since I last posted. When I wrote here last, the biggest concern I had was whether I had saved enough money to go on a proper vacation, and what to make for supper the next day. That's all about to change. See, I'm pregnant. Nine months pregnant to be exact.

When we were deciding whether we wanted to have kids, I would waffle. I mean, I've always known I'd want to have kids someday. I think. I'd always assumed anyway.

Then, we decided it was time to try for kids. When my first period came after we started trying I first felt relief. That surprised me. But then I felt sadness, for the baby that wasn't there. Then, when my next period was late (I think), I bought pregnancy test after pregnancy test, checking every day to see if it had happened. Switching to checking in the morning when I read that your hormone levels are the highest.

September 20. That's the day I got my first positive test. It was the last test I had in the house.

When my husband got home, I wrapped him in a big hug and told him he was going to be a dad. He pushed me away so he could see my face and asked me how I knew. He wouldn't believe it until after the next day when I went to the doctor's office for a test, and then the DynaCare clinic for bloodwork. We were having a baby.

The first three months were tough. I was very sick and tired, so it was difficult to hide. I ended up telling my parents when I thought I was 10 weeks along, and my work when I thought I was 13. A later ultrasound would tell me I was actually 2 weeks behind where I thought I was.

My feet look like cantaloupes and I can't find my ankles. I'm pretty sure the hair on my legs is growing hair, and my husband has clipped my toenails 3x now because I get winded trying to reach them. But none of it matters. We're having a baby. I couldn't be more excited.